Technical note

Misspelled words and bad grammar are done on purpose in this review to simulate the western dialect of this reviewer.

WP: Howdy Pardners! Welcome to another Roundup Review! Today, my cousin Wilbert and me was sittin' in my livin' room watchin' the Tombstone DVD. We was havin' a six-pack uh beer (belch) and done watched the entire movie. Didn't we, Wilbert?

Wilbert: We (belch) sure did. Now we's gonna do one uh them fancy-pants reviews like Pickles and Beaver.

WP: That's Siskel and Ebert, squirrel brain!

Wilbert: Oh, sorry bout' that, Will.

WP: That's alright, Wilbert. You can't hep it if a truck backed over yer head when you was a kid. Now let's talk about them AK-tors in the movie: First off, thars Kurt Russell playin' the part uh Wyatt Earp.

Wilbert: Yeah, he's the same feller who played the monkey boy on Gilligan's Isle. Hehehe!

WP: That's right. Then we got Val Kilmer playin' Doc Holiday--

Wilbert: Uh huh, he was the same feller who done played the part uh "Ice Cube" in Top Gun.

WP: Wilbert, I swear yer head must be a block of ice! He played "Iceman"-not Ice Cube. That brings us to Sam Elliott who played Virgil Earp. He also appeared in the movie Frogs.

Wilbert: Ribbit...ribbit...

WP: Very funny. Now shut yer pie hole! And uh course, Bill Paxton played Morgan Earp.

Wilbert: Oh yeah! He was in the movie Brain Dead! One uh my all-time favorites.

WP: That figures. Any who, that about covers the good guys in the movie. The bad guys, also known as the Cowboys, don't wear no black hats. They wears red hankies instead. I found that a might peculiar.

Wilbert: Well maybe they blows thar noses a lot. Hehehe! Powers Booth, who played Richard III in the Goodbye Girl, played Curly Bill Brocious. Michael Bien of the Terminator played Johnny Ringo. Stephen Lang played Ike Clanton. He looked like a polecat with a bad perm. Also we have Billy Clanton played by Thomas Hayden Church.

WP: Why Wilbert! That was down-right professional presentin' of the bad guys. What's gotten into you?

Wilbert: I think I'm soberin' up (belch).

WP: Is that a fact?

Wilbert: That's a fact.

WP: Well, Wilbert, I do believe yer sittin' in my chair.

Wilbert: Is that a fact? Hehehe! Will, we just done played our favorite scene in the movie where Kurt Russell tells Billy Bob Thornton that he's sittin' in his chair.

WP: That is a fact. Hehehe! I like the way Kurt Russell done slapped Billy Bob up side the head and dragged him out uh the saloon by his ear. Hehehe! Uh course every western movie needs a leadin' lady. Dana Delany played that part, and she's one PURDY gal! UUUUUUHWHEEEEE!!!

Wilbert: Yep, she has quite a hitch in her get-a-long if ya know what I mean! She starts out in the movie as Sheriff Behan's gal-but she has her eye on Wyatt. Jon Tenney played Behan.

WP: You got it, cousin. The movie begins with Wyatt Earp movin' to Tombstone. He wants to give up being a law dog and make his fortune and lead a quite life--

Wilbert: But the bad guys wouldn't let 'em.

WP: That's right. The plot gets thicker and thicker like molasses till Wyatt, Doc, Virgil and Morgan ain't gonna take it no more! They finally meet up with the bad guys at the OK corral-

Wilbert: Where they has that legendary CON-FRON-TA-SHUN.

WP: You got it! Ya know, the movie also has its funny parts-

Wilbert: Yeah! Like when Johnny Ringo was twirlin' his gun, tryin' to intimidate Doc Holiday.

WP: Uh huh, and when Johnny was all done twirlin', Doc started twirlin' the tin cup he was holdin'. Hehehe! That was a kick in the britches, wadn't it?

Wilbert: Hehehe! It sure enough was, Will. Say Will, maybe we should tell the Pardners readin' this review about the cinnamon-taffy.

WP: The what?

Wilbert: You know, the cinnamon-taffy-the picture quality of the movie.

WP: It's the cinematography, you horse's tailpipe! The scenes looked fine ta me. Thar was one thang though that looked like a phony two-dollar bill.

Wilbert: Tell us, Will, inquirin' minds want ta know. Hehehe!

WP: Well, every cowboy in that movie carried his-self a 600 shooter-they never seemed to run outta bullets.

Wilbert: Hehehe! I know whatcha mean. I thought Doc Holiday was kinda phony too when he say, "I'm your huckleberry." That ain't right. Thar was no Huckleberry Hound cartoons in 1881.

WP: Why cousin Wilbert. You really hit the nail on the fence post. I never noticed that before. Any who, all thangs taken into account I rate this movie four red hankies; how 'bout yerself?

Wilbert: Four red hankies sounds good.

WP: Well thar ya have it folks: yer epinions review of Tombstone--

Wilbert: --by Pickles and Beaver.

WP: That's Siskel and Ebert, squirrel brain! Now get outta my chair...

Directed by George P. Cosmatos
Screenplay by Kevin Jarre
Runtime 130 minutes
Rated R

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Romeo and Juliet--The Motion Picture

When I was a young lad of years numbering ten, this film was released way back then. So long ago yet, it seems like yesterday when I first watched this film based on Shakespeare's play.

Whilst I watched, my world reflected back at me from the mirror-like movie screen. Such noteworthy acting I hath ne'er before seen. Whilst I watched this film I felt such adolescent joy when a Capulet girl met that Montague boy!

I felt the star-crossed lovers' glee! How lucky in love such lovers must be. I remembered back when I was young, the lovers I had gained and lost, not knowing the trials, not knowing the cost.

'Twas not my plan to cry in my beer. Patience was not a virtue my tears held dear. My shredded heart put my face to the test. 'Twas the mask of Tragedy that suited me best.

Fear near doom hangs on its last breath. I know what it is to lose a loved one to death. Thus I totally related to this tale of woe--of Juliet and her dear, sweet Romeo.

Mark me well. To thee I pray. 'Tis the most noble film based on Shakespeare's play.

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I'm Spartacus!

It is the first century B.C.

YOU are sitting on a bench within a dark cold cage. You can see through the air holes the arena where your best friend fights for his life with a short gladius sword. Sitting on a bench across from you is your opponent. He is twice your size and strength. He does not make eye contact with you. When it is your turn to fight, you must kill him or he will kill you.

Are you ready to kill? Are you ready to die? Or will you wet your toga? Who are you?

"I'm Spartacus!" you shout. Yes, you are Spartacus (Kirk Douglas). You find yourself walking in his sandals-you become him-that is what happened to me when I watched this film.

You are a slave, but you have spirit! You attacked a guard who flogged you in the mines where you toiled in the hot sun.

You were sentenced to starve to death, but Lentulus Batiatus (Peter Ustinov) thought you would make an excellent gladiator. He purchased you and brought you to his gladiator school. You were trained and now you must kill or be killed.

YOU are forced to have sex with gladiators. You are thrown into a gladiator's cell. You disrobe, but he does not force himself upon you. He respects you as a person and wants you to choose him rather than force you. Eventually you do choose and fall in love with the man called Spartacus.

"What is your name?" he asks. "My name is Varinia," you reply. Yes, you are Varinia (Jean Simmons) because you may prefer to walk in her sandals instead. You are also a slave at the gladiator school. As Varinia you perform domestic chores.

As Spartacus you survive the arena. You kill the bloody bastard who trained you, who tormented you for months on end. You and the other gladiators revolt and escape, then form an army of gladiators. All you ever wanted was your freedom from this stinking hellhole called Rome!

As Verinia you are pregnant and Spartacus is the father. You adore Spartacus, but you worry about your future together. Will your child be a slave or be free?

Whether you are Spartacus or Verinia, Marcus Licinius Crassus (Laurence Olivier), Counsel and Savior of Rome, will do his best and worst to ensure that your dreams of freedom are never realized.

A decisive battle between the army of gladiators led by Spartacus, and the Roman legions led by Crassus is imminent. Winner takes all! At least that is what Crassus believes. What he fails to realize is that Spartacus and Verinia have a friend in Sempronius Gracchus (Charles Laughton), a Roman senator who doesn't much like Crassus.

So what becomes of you as Spartacus? What becomes of you as Verinia? Will your child be born free or be a slave? And what of the legend of Spartacus? Does Crassus destroy it or does it live on? Be patient--this film (directed by Stanley Kubrick) shall answer all of your questions.

The screenplay (written by Dalton Trumbo) is a speculative account of the historical slave revolt led by Spartacus. It is based on the novel written by Howard Fast. The theme music (written by Alex North) is full orchestra-it magnificently fills the sandals of this film, and beautifully complements the stellar performances of Kirk Douglas, Jean Simmons, Peter Ustinov, Charles Laughton and Laurence Olivier.

Additionally, Tony Curtis wasn't half bad as Antoninus--the loyal friend and sidekick of Spartacus.

The period costumes and scenery appear to be authentic, and caused me to lose my sense of the present while I gained a sense of the past. The stunts and special effects were unnoticeable yet unforgettable-they were very realistic!

This film won four Academy Awards. Therefore, I think it is only fair to warn you that if you watch this film, you will be a slave to the plot until the very end. But for now, I will rate it five stars.

Academy Awards

Best Supporting Actor--Peter Ustinov
Best Art Direction-Set Decoration
Best Cinematography
Best Costume Design

Runtime: 3 hrs. 16 mins.
Release date: 1960
Rated PG-13

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Jamie Kennedy Experiment - the Complete First Season

Jamie: Hey everybody, I'm Jamie Kennedy, and welcome to the Jamie Kennedy Experiment! (Cheers and applause from the studio audience.) This is the show where Candid Camera meets Saturday Night Live. In this next bit, we have a guy who thinks he has a session with a real psychiatrist. What he doesn't know is that there are hidden cameras and that the psychiatrist (me) is a multiple personality and is crazier than he is. The experiment? -- How will he react? Let's watch...

(What follows is on the big screen. The studio audience watches:)

WP: (To Jamie.) Hi, I'm Williampinn. Sorry I'm late for my appointment.

Jamie: Hey, that's OK, William. Why don't you lie down on the couch and we'll get started.

WP: Thanks.

Jamie: So why are you here?

WP: Well, Doc, I have writer's block and have been having strange dreams about a seagull.

Jamie: A seagull? Well, that's perfectly normal; sometimes I fantasize that I'm seagull. (Jamie stands on his chair and flaps his arms.) CAAAAW! CAAAAW!

WP: Hey! Are you all right, man?! You be the doctor; I be the patient, OK?

Jamie: OK, you're right. (He takes out his Woody doll.) Ya know, sometimes patients have a hard time talking to me. Perhaps you would be more comfortable talking to my pal Woody. Say hi to William, Woody. (He speaks in a falsetto voice.) Hey there William. So you think you're a seagull? CAAAH! CAAAAAW!

WP: Please! Put the doll away! You're embarrassing me!

Woody: Hey William, did a seagull crap on you when you were a kid? Is that why you're seeing a shrink?

WP: No! Absolutely not! NOW PUT THAT STUPID DOLL AWAY!

Jamie: OK, OK! Just chill, dude! There, I put the scary doll away. Now tell me more about these dreams you've been having.

WP: Well...well..

Jamie: Common now, let it all out. Don't be shy.

WP: Well...I dreamed I was a woman named Regina.

Jamie: Hey, hey, it's OK; it is OK. All men have a feminine side-

WP: They do?

Jamie: Why sure! Inside my 170 pound frame there is a 300 pound black woman just waiting to get out. Her name is Virginia. (He speaks with a ghetto falsetto.) Uh huh, suga, You ain't got to be ashamed of who you are inside. I let Virginia do the talkin' and my bootay do the walkin'!

WP: You are one weird shrink. Can we get back to MY problems, please?

Virginia: Why sure, honey. Tell Virginia what your problems be.

WP: Well, as I said before, I'm suffering from writer's block and it scares me. It has always been my dream to be a writer or a singer.

(Jamie pretends to zone out. He then becomes the rap character Brad Gluckman.)

Brad: Hey, what up, dawg? I be a sanger too.

WP: What the hell?

Brad: I live a hard life in Malibu. Yo, dawg, I know what you be goin' through. Don't be hatin' when you could be celebratin'. Don't be partay killin' when you could be chillin'. I'm the Brad boy who's the bad boy commin' to you from Malibu without no doubt. Peace to you, bro. Brad boy out! (He blows in his cupped hands and makes rap sounds.) ---

WP: WILL YOU STOP THAT?! What kind of freakin' shrink are you?! I'm not taking anymore of this crap! I'm out of here!

Jamie: Sorry, dude. Hey don't leave.

WP: Why not?

Jamie: I have to tell you something-

WP: What? That I have been X'd? (Jamie looks surprised.) The joke's on you Jamie Kennedy. You're the one that's been X'd.

Jamie: What? No way...you got me?

WP: Yesss! You see, I am not really a psychiatry patient. I am a reviewer from epinions.com, and I am reviewing The Complete First Season of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment.

Jamie: Ahhhhh, man! I can't believe you got ME!

WP: Well of course I got YOU. I'm the one writing this. Anyway, I want to thank you (even though we never met and I'm just making up this dialog) for unwittingly demonstrating what your show is about and some of the different characters you play.

Jamie: You're welcome. Jeeez! I still can't believe that I'm the one who's been X'd.

WP: For those who are unfamiliar with the show, the term X'd applies to the mark (the one whom the joke is being played on). I just want to express further that I think your show is one of the funniest shows ever to hit television.

Jamie: Why thanks, dude.

WP: I love all the different disguises and characters you use to confound the marks. My absolute favorite bit is where you pretend to be a guy who has had jaw surgery and your mouth is wired open. Can you do a little of that for us? I want my readers to see.

Jamie: Sure. (Jamie places a wire mesh apparatus in his mouth, and pours two glasses of wine.) Haow dat? Hood ooh cah fah thom ine?

WP: Hahahaha! Oh, you look and sound hysterical! Yes...hahaha...I'll have some wine. Oh look, readers, he's pouring the wine down his gullet and it's spilling all over his expensive tux. Hahahahahaha! Hehehehehehehehehe! Stop, Jamie! You're killing me! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

This first season, three disc collection includes 17 episodes and commentary by Jamie Kennedy. There is also behind-the-scenes footage as well.

Enjoy! Hahahahahahahaha!

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Jamie Kennedy Experiment - the Complete Second Season

WP: O-K...so I watched the 18 or so half-hour shows, the one-hour specials, the outtakes and commentary of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment-The Complete Second Season DVDs.

Let me tell you. The second season is nothing like the first season. The first season wasn't half bad, but the second season is dumber and more incredulous than Paris Hilton appearing in a G-rated movie.

I could not believe how worn-out and stale Jamie's characters have become. They are more worn-out than Paris Hilton's carpet, or her kitchen table, or her counter tops.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show, it is like Candid Camera on crack. Instead of the engaging, charming and classy Allen Funt, we have the rat-faced Jamie Kennedy. He's that actor/comedian whose rat face appeared in way too many Scream movies.

In one sequence, Jamie plays an obnoxious grocery clerk who removes the shrink wrap from a customer's steak and fondles it, sniffs it, then coughs on it. Am I supposed to laugh at that? Someone forgot to send me the memo. That was one of the most disgusting, unprofessional displays I have ever seen!

Needless to say, the customer refused to purchase the steak. Can you blame her? That's not the worst part, though. The rat boy then has the unmitigated gall to tell that poor bewildered woman that she has been X'd. Ha, ha, that's so funny I forgot to laugh and puke at the same time!

In another sequence, rat boy plays a fake tour guide who takes some unsuspecting decent folks on a boat tour of the Florida everglades. A stunt man (who is part of the scam) falls into the river and is attacked by a fake alligator. However, the poor folks in the boat think it is all real. Ha, ha, very funny! Man gets his limb snipped by alligator...story at eleven!

Additionally, the rat boy has way too many sequences where he plays this incompetent parking attendant. He plays a character of a certain nationality (with a ridiculous fake accent I might add) who wears a white jump suit. I loath the fact that the character promotes stereotypes! By playing that character he has done a disservice to all people who wear white jump suits!

Then, of course-

Jamie: Hey dude! Why are you slamming my show? Did someone pee in your Cheerios?

WP: Your show sucks, man!

Jamie: NO, YOU SUCK!

WP: Ha! That rapper character...what's his name again?

Jamie: Brad Gluckman! He's cool and YOU SUCK!

WP: Well, he may have been cool the first season, but now he's not only a worn-out, wannabe rapper from Malibu, you gotta play clips from season one of him all throughout season two! If I want to watch those clips again, I'll rent the season one DVD you MORON!

Jamie: Who are you calling a moron, Cheerio breath?!

WP: Sorry, man, I meant no offense. Moron is a pet name where I come from. Anyway, what's up with the old waiter character you play who drives around the restaurant with a wheelchair scooter, and bangs into tables and chairs?

Or the blind guy you play whose sexy wife hits on the unsuspecting marks? Now you have to admit that is pretty tacky!

Jamie: It isn't tacky, man!

WP: Yes it is! You suck!

Jamie: NO, YOU SUCK!!! YOU-

WP: Jamie, calm down. I have to tell you something-

Jamie: What? Oh....NO!

WP: That's right. You've been X'd!

Jamie: I can't believe you got me again!

WP: And, all you readers out there have been X'd also. I absolutely LOVED season two of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. It was one of the funniest shows on TV! All of the sequences I mentioned earlier had me in stitches! Plus, this four DVD set contains a lot more DROP-DEAD FUNNY STUFF-FIVE STARS!

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Druids--A Film Review

In the beginning...during the opening credits...the sun...radiates in the dark endless pit of space that seems to stretch to infinity-like the runtime of this film. A comet appears-the quality of the special effects disappears...into the oblivion of space.

The comet reaches earth. The year is 60 B.C.-or is it B.S.? The name of the film was Vercingetorix, but it was changed to Druids (?). After all, even though Vercingetorix is the main character in the film, a druid does make a cameo appearance. The producers considered calling this film Comet, but the comet's role is too large.

The story takes place in ancient Gaul, but was filmed in Bulgaria-or was that Bull-garia? Young prince Vercingetorix witnesses his father's assassination plotted by the Romans and a rival Gallic Chieftain. He swears he will avenge his father's death someday, but for now he will pledge his undying LOVE and DEVOTION(yawn) to Epona, a princess who is his childhood sweetheart, then get out of Dodge before the assassins kill him.

Of course, he can't take the girl with him when he flees. They have to separate and lead separate lives until they reach adulthood and meet again under awkward circumstances. I'm sorry, but that's how it is with these ancient chivalry-type films.

Let's see, what happens next? Oh yeah...he appears in the next scene as a fully-grown prince. He then...hmmm? Oh! I know! He meets up with the princess again, and she is fully-grown too. However, she appears to be shacking up with Julius Caesar, and the circumstances are awkward. What happened to that pledge of undying love between prince and princess? It apparently disappeared into the oblivion of space along with the comet and special effects.

Then what happens? Oh, right! He avenges his father's death.

At one point in the film, he meets up with the druid. The druid introduces him to a foxy sword-fighting chick named Rhia (who is no relation to Zena The Warrior Princess). She does a splendid job teaching Vercingetorix to fight with a sword. "If you spill one drop of my blood, you can do whatever you want with me," she says, batting her eyelashes. "YEAH, BABY! Let's get it on!" He doesn't really say that, but you get the idea.

Meanwhile, Julius Caesar has this thing for Gaul. He sort of wants it for his private collection. During one scene, his army is attacking Vercingetorix's castle. Ya know, that dude's name is hard to say. So from now on I'll just refer to him as V, OK? Anyway, V's army is away from the castle and is planning to attack Caesar from the rear.

The women are still at the castle. They line up on the castle wall and have the Gaul to bare their breasts to the Roman army. A diversionary tactic? Perhaps, but Caesar is not impressed. He has bigger tits than any of those women judging from the size of his breastplate.

From the castle wall, the bare-breasted babes also throw down chickens to the starving Roman army. The disciplined ranks swiftly turn to chaos. There is nothing a Roman soldier wants more than a face full of chicken and breasts.

V not only has to fight Romans in this film, he has to fight some weird red-tie-dye-haired dudes from the north called Teutons. I must say this film's plot really put me on the edge of my seat-I couldn't wait to leave the room to go floss my teeth.

The acting is superbly insipid. First we have V who is played by Christopher Lambert. He has all the charisma from the Highlander films emoting from his being. Oh, I beg your pardon, it was Sean Connery who had the charisma in the Highlander films. Christopher Lambert is the one with the raspy voice that sounds like he smokes five packs of cigarettes a day along with having a bad case of laryngitis.

Next we have Max von Sydow who is the star of the movie. He played the part of the druid. He delivered his handful of lines like a pro. He contrasted Lambert's American accent with his German accent. I thought that was a nice touch. I was able to tell which Gaul was which.

Julius Caesar is played by Klaus Maria Brandauer. He is the fattest Julius Caesar I have ever seen in any film. He tried out for the part of the comet but did not get the role. He also has a German accent. I think that is a good thing, because if he had an Italian accent, it would be hard to distinguish him from the other Romans.

Ines Sastre is Epona. She is good looking and her acting (yawn) was (yawn...zzz...zzz...zzz).

Finally, Maria Kavardjikova plays Rhia. She bared her breasts during one scene to distract a Roman guard. That's good enough for me.

The costumes are cool; they appear to be authentic, although, Christopher Lambert's hairdresser must have been on acid. The scenery and sets look pretty good too. The producers managed to pick locations in Bulgaria that resemble ancient Gaul-or maybe not. It's hard to say. Ancient Gaul was before my time.

Directed by--Jacques Dorfman
Release Date: 2001
Runtime: 124 mins.
Rated R

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Rapa Nui--Who Will Be Your Birdman?

Imagine the Milky Way Galaxy. Zoom in until you see our solar system. Zoom in closer until you see Earth. Zoom in even closer until you see the Pacific Ocean, then a lone isolated island.

Rapa Nui, the navel of the world, is what they, the inhabitants, called the home that we refer to as Easter Island. After a thousand years of isolation, they believed they were the only people left on earth--that all other lands sank beneath the seemingly endless sea surrounding their isolated island.

The plot begins sometime before the first Europeans arrived. The inhabitants are divided into two factions: the ruling class (long ears) and the servant class (short ears).

Under the command of the ruling class, the short ears slave away at building incredibly large facial statutes or moi for the purpose of appeasing the gods. It is hoped by the Ariki-mau, the birdman or island leader (played by Eru Potaka-Dewes), that the statutes will bring the legendary white canoe--which will take the inhabitants away to salvation. However, the growing discontent and hostility of the short ears boils like magma beneath the surface of a volcano that is about to erupt.

Against this backdrop, imagine three lines drawn between three dots to make a love triangle between the long-ear protagonist, Noro (played by Jason Scott Lee); his short-ear best friend, Make (played by Esai Morales); and the woman they both love, a short ear named Ramana (played by Sandrine Holt).

These three dots revolve around the nucleus of the plot, which is the annual birdman race. The winner of this race shall determine which long-ear chief shall be the supreme ruler (birdman). Each chief selects his finest athlete to compete on his behalf. The object of the race is to climb down a perilous cliff, swim across the shark-infested bay to an islet where the competitor retrieves a native bird egg, then he must be the first to return the egg to his chief. The short ears have never been allowed to compete-but this year's race is an exception.

The short ears threaten not to build anymore moi unless they are allowed to compete. The Ariki-mau grants their request on one condition: if the short-ear competitor loses the race, he shall be sacrificed to the gods.

Make is the short-ear competitor (surprise, surprise). Noro is competing on behalf of his uncle, the Ariki-mau. If Noro wins the race, his best friend Make dies. If Make wins, Make shall become birdman and will marry Ramana, who loves and is loved by Noro.

Can the plot get any thicker? Sure it can. Ramana, according to custom, must rot in the cold dark virgin cave for six months before the race so she will be purified--or die in the process. Even if she survives, she may be forced to marry Make rather than her true love Noro.

The mysterious white canoe also makes an appearance near the end of the film. I found this to be a very unexpected surprise-like a who-done-it mystery solved. Although, what happens here is nothing compared to this film's climactic ending-which I will not spoil for you.

I really enjoyed not only this film's story, but the larger-than-life sunrises and sunsets behind an endless-ocean horizon. I loved the images of blue-green surf slapping against black-obsidian jagged cliffs. The construction and erection of gigantic moi statutes was a wonder to watch.

The theme music was rather unique and captured the essence of the plot and the island images. It mainly consisted of pulsating synthesizer strings. During the closing credits, I heard what sounded like authentic Polynesian tribal music. I found that rather fascinating.

Some noted flaws in the film were the actors' inconsistent pronunciation of the word "Ariki-mau." Sometimes they pronounced it "Ariki-moi," or "Ariki-moe" as in Larry, Curley and Moe. Another flaw was the fact that Noro was trained for the race by a short-ear coach. Since short ears weren't normally allowed to compete in the race, one has to wonder where this short-ear coach gained his experience.

On the whole, Rapa Nui is a magnificent film to watch. The acting and direction was superb--Esai Morales did what I thought was some of the best acting I have ever seen.

The plot is a fictional account of what happened during those turbulent times of Easter Island's history--Kevin Reynolds' screenplay hit the ball out of the park! I was left with the impression that this film's plot may have really happened.

I say watch this flick and rate it four stars yourself.

Written and directed by Kevin Reynolds
Original music by Stewart Copland
Produced by Kevin Costner
Runtime: 120 minutes
Rated R

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