(What follows is on the big screen. The studio audience watches:)
WP: (To Jamie.) Hi, I'm Williampinn. Sorry I'm late for my appointment.
Jamie: Hey, that's OK, William. Why don't you lie down on the couch and we'll get started.
WP: Thanks.
Jamie: So why are you here?
WP: Well, Doc, I have writer's block and have been having strange dreams about a seagull.
Jamie: A seagull? Well, that's perfectly normal; sometimes I fantasize that I'm seagull. (Jamie stands on his chair and flaps his arms.) CAAAAW! CAAAAW!
WP: Hey! Are you all right, man?! You be the doctor; I be the patient, OK?
Jamie: OK, you're right. (He takes out his Woody doll.) Ya know, sometimes patients have a hard time talking to me. Perhaps you would be more comfortable talking to my pal Woody. Say hi to William, Woody. (He speaks in a falsetto voice.) Hey there William. So you think you're a seagull? CAAAH! CAAAAAW!
WP: Please! Put the doll away! You're embarrassing me!
Woody: Hey William, did a seagull crap on you when you were a kid? Is that why you're seeing a shrink?
WP: No! Absolutely not! NOW PUT THAT STUPID DOLL AWAY!
Jamie: OK, OK! Just chill, dude! There, I put the scary doll away. Now tell me more about these dreams you've been having.
WP: Well...well..
Jamie: Common now, let it all out. Don't be shy.
WP: Well...I dreamed I was a woman named Regina.
Jamie: Hey, hey, it's OK; it is OK. All men have a feminine side-
WP: They do?
Jamie: Why sure! Inside my 170 pound frame there is a 300 pound black woman just waiting to get out. Her name is Virginia. (He speaks with a ghetto falsetto.) Uh huh, suga, You ain't got to be ashamed of who you are inside. I let Virginia do the talkin' and my bootay do the walkin'!
WP: You are one weird shrink. Can we get back to MY problems, please?
Virginia: Why sure, honey. Tell Virginia what your problems be.
WP: Well, as I said before, I'm suffering from writer's block and it scares me. It has always been my dream to be a writer or a singer.
(Jamie pretends to zone out. He then becomes the rap character Brad Gluckman.)
Brad: Hey, what up, dawg? I be a sanger too.
WP: What the hell?
Brad: I live a hard life in Malibu. Yo, dawg, I know what you be goin' through. Don't be hatin' when you could be celebratin'. Don't be partay killin' when you could be chillin'. I'm the Brad boy who's the bad boy commin' to you from Malibu without no doubt. Peace to you, bro. Brad boy out! (He blows in his cupped hands and makes rap sounds.) ---
WP: WILL YOU STOP THAT?! What kind of freakin' shrink are you?! I'm not taking anymore of this crap! I'm out of here!
Jamie: Sorry, dude. Hey don't leave.
WP: Why not?
Jamie: I have to tell you something-
WP: What? That I have been X'd? (Jamie looks surprised.) The joke's on you Jamie Kennedy. You're the one that's been X'd.
Jamie: What? No way...you got me?
WP: Yesss! You see, I am not really a psychiatry patient. I am a reviewer from epinions.com, and I am reviewing The Complete First Season of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment.
Jamie: Ahhhhh, man! I can't believe you got ME!
WP: Well of course I got YOU. I'm the one writing this. Anyway, I want to thank you (even though we never met and I'm just making up this dialog) for unwittingly demonstrating what your show is about and some of the different characters you play.
Jamie: You're welcome. Jeeez! I still can't believe that I'm the one who's been X'd.
WP: For those who are unfamiliar with the show, the term X'd applies to the mark (the one whom the joke is being played on). I just want to express further that I think your show is one of the funniest shows ever to hit television.
Jamie: Why thanks, dude.
WP: I love all the different disguises and characters you use to confound the marks. My absolute favorite bit is where you pretend to be a guy who has had jaw surgery and your mouth is wired open. Can you do a little of that for us? I want my readers to see.
Jamie: Sure. (Jamie places a wire mesh apparatus in his mouth, and pours two glasses of wine.) Haow dat? Hood ooh cah fah thom ine?
WP: Hahahaha! Oh, you look and sound hysterical! Yes...hahaha...I'll have some wine. Oh look, readers, he's pouring the wine down his gullet and it's spilling all over his expensive tux. Hahahahahaha! Hehehehehehehehehe! Stop, Jamie! You're killing me! Hahahahahahahahahaha!
This first season, three disc collection includes 17 episodes and commentary by Jamie Kennedy. There is also behind-the-scenes footage as well.
Enjoy! Hahahahahahahaha!
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